‘Be more specific.’ This phrase, once uttered by Ye (the artist formerly known as Kanye West) is mentioned countless times by advisers and journalists in the statements to the press given by Pusha T (nicknamed King Push) upon the inauguration of Ye to the Presidency of the United States of America.
The year is 2029. The opening gambit by Ye in 2024 was a predictable failure. Plagued by accusations of playing fast and loose with language, Ye faced losses from Democrats who feared antisemitism and Republicans who feared anti-Zionism. How times change.
After meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu and the new unity government of Israel, Ye is determined to replicate the achievements of UK Prime Minister Tony Blair in the Northern Ireland peace process. Bringing Palestinians and Israelis to the table is his first task as President, in the hope of pursuing a one-state model that moves the Holy Land beyond ethnonationalism and terror(ism). This task is beset with difficulty, as Ye knows the only people who can truly bring peace to Israel/Palestine are Israelis and Palestinians themselves.
At home, influenced by the critiques of a certain blogger whose music is starting to take off (with a travel accident echoing the prelude to West’s own College Dropout back in the early 2000s and his astonishing ten-album run), Ye is taking a stand against Christian antisemitism, insisting, ‘The Bible does not say anything bad about Judas; Jesus, who is also Jewish, loves Judas more than any of his disciples. Read the Bible! The truths you seek are the truths you meet … OK y’all I just thought that was a funny turn of phrase, but I still speak the truth, as our Lord and Savior …’
You get the picture. So the 2028 campaign faced critiques more of Islamophobia than of antisemitism, since Ye refuses to meet with Palestinian authorities until ‘the United Nations is more specific.’ We still don’t know what that means. But after the election, all accusations of prejudice concerning the second black President have fallen away and been replaced by accusations of voter fraud, accusations which have been thrown both ways. But with two million votes more than his contender, the surprise Democratic nominee Elon Musk, the first black GOP President is as secure in his position as George Bush after the defeat of Al Gore — which is to say, tenuously.
Ye’s first task echoes the early orders of the Trump presidency: to escalate the now-massive trade war with China. Almost all supply routes have already been relocated to Vietnam and India under the lethargic Biden/Harris Presidency, but China remains enmeshed in world financial integration. On the advice of newfound friend Professor John Mearsheimer, Ye demands all countries and companies cease all real and financial transactions with China immediately, until such a time as China demilitarises and forfeits all claims to the free state of Taiwan (which China almost invaded in 2026, but stopped at the last moment as four U.S. aircraft carriers arrived in the western South China Sea). All debts to China are also suspended until conditions for lifting sanctions are met. ‘But if China wants to repay the debt to my family through the devil product, I’m talking about TikTok, then my account’s always open.’ (Before Ye can read his account number to the public in his inaugural address, his security ushers him to the side to discuss a ‘security matter,’ before Ye returns to the podium and continues as if nothing happened, but thanks his security for ‘diligence, like Barack said, or Dr. King, or me! LOVE ALL PEOPLE!’)
Echoing Obama’s Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Ye’s Vice President Jay-Z presses the reset button with Russian equivalent Medvedev. The ageing Vladimir Putin presides under a country in chaos, barely surviving on the back of diminishing Chinese funds. The promise of U.S. dollars being reshuffled from Chinese banks to Russian banks is enough to deter Russia from further aggression beyond the annexation of eastern Ukraine in the wars of 2022-25, which had ended in a ceasefire along the fighting lines of winter 2022.
The alt-right continues to resent the way Ye pushed them aside after the media crisis of late 2022, leading them to further evidence Ye’s own distaste of their barely concealed animosity towards minorities, thereby actually strengthening Ye’s appeal to the mainstream after a campaign speech in 2024 which stated, ‘Antisemitism and woke liberalism form a unity. Only by overcoming the hatred of “anti” this, “anti” that, can we love one another. It’s like Jesus when he —’
You get the picture. But one thing did stay with Ye from 2022-3: the defence of free speech. He demands by executive order all media platforms allow freedom of expression beyond all explicit threats of violence. Six months into the Presidency a study published in Nature reveals actual instances of racism decline as censorship is, well, censored. Freedom of speech seems to overcome prejudice and discrimination, vindicating Ye — and a certain ex-blogger …
On the home front, Ye promises a reform to Wall Street which never quite comes, at least so far. He also promises to lift Biden-era federal support for abortions, but this promise seems as faint and empty as Trump’s ‘Build the Wall.’ The one reform Ye is committed to is on investing in nuclear fusion, and the first plant is planned, in a negotiated settlement with tech entrepreneurs such as Musk, for 2032 — the year of Ye’s reelection campaign. He would be fifty-five.
Ye’s choice of Treasury Secretary surprises everyone. A supporter of Bernie Sanders, the Secretary lobbies for reform to Wall Street but also for Medicare for All, infrastructure spending, and protection for the unemployed. In a Republican-minority Congress, Ye’s ministers strike deals with Democrats that ensure the passage of unemployment relief, infrastructure spending, increased investment in nuclear fusion, and guaranteed healthcare coverage for lower-income Americans in a Comprehensive Act to Defend America against Unpatriotic Influences (namely, China). Echoing UK Corbyn-era shadow minister Rebecca Long-Bailey’s call for a ‘Green Industrial Revolution’ and ‘progressive patriotism,’ the Ye presidency by 2030 is off to a roaring start. China is buckling under pressure and willing to consider terms for lifting sanctions (including near-complete demilitarisation) and GDP growth is back to 3.4%, unheard of in the second half of the 2020s, and counteracting all arguments from the left that containing China would hurt business and working Americans. Small businesses are booming in Ye’s America.
Then the unthinkable happens: Air Force One, carrying Ye and Vice-President Jay-Z, is hit by a missile from ICARUS, the successor to ISIL, and the era of Yecialism seems to become a Westfailure.
But Air Force One has parachutes, and the near-miss with death reinvigorates the Presidency. Immediately John Mearsheimer and Bernie Sanders are given first choice of new Treasury and State secretaries. The Cabinet is reformed completely to reflect Ye’s new determination, which even leads Jay-Z (who was in charge of security in the trip) to be replaced by a new Vice-President, with youth and verve.
What happens next is anyone’s guess. The phone’s run about five times as I write this piece in the dark days of winter of 2030 in Chicago. I guess I should pick up the phone …